How to “feel good.”

If I had to paint the perfect “feel good” scenario it’d probably look like chillin’ on a warm beach with my family, having some tacos, feeling totally loved, mindful, and stress free in that moment. What’s the magic pill that will promise us the “feel good” scenario we all picture in our minds? Where can I buy the secret sauce that will take away stress, doubt, and fear? What’s the key to feeling good?

That’s what drives my interest and passion for counseling and mental health. You know something is your calling when you do it no matter what. It’s more than a job or hobby; it’s a purpose. A calling is a natural passion and way of being. That’s counseling for me. I believe mental health matters and is the key to feeling good.  I believe in advocating for women to love themselves, their bodies, and their relationships with food. I’m passionate about empowering women to know what won’t feel good; judgment, comparison, shrinking their size, perfectionism, etc.

I want to dispel the myth that changing your body is the key to feeling good about yourself. I want to dispel the lie that our appearance is the key to worth and acceptance. Those are skin deep and miss the point! Feeling good is about living in alignment with your values. It’s about living your truth, your purpose and your calling. Your true worth has nothing to do with external causes, validation, or approval! Your true worth won’t be affected by praise, validation, compliments, or likes. It’s internal and decided by you! does it feel good to get some praise? Sure. But it has no staying power. I’m talking about FEELING GOOD in your core, regardless of external feedback. It’s that quiet serene place inside that lets you know, hey I’m good enough and love myself.

My passion for helping women love themselves grew from my own struggle with anxiety and an eating disorder. I found recovery through working with a therapist, intuitive eating, and a fierce commitment to loving myself.  Over the 8 years of my counseling career I’ve seen thousands of people improve their resilience, mindfulness, and self-compassion, and I think that’s the secret sauce to feeling good! We get sucked into a culture of comparison and perfectionism. I personally get that and don’t judge anyone for the struggle!

I hope to raise awareness that the comparison trap and trying to be perfect won’t help the real goal of self-love and feeling good. Let’s shine light on the negative effects of comparison and perfectionism. It increases depression and anxiety. It leads us to feeling like we are never good enough.

Here are three simple ways to reject the perfection mindset and to build a foundation for feeling good.

  1. Say 12 things you recognize and appreciate about your life. FEEL the joy and gratitude it brings. Gratitude snaps us out of comparison and judgment and brings us into the present moment. This will help you be resilient; a key to feeling good long-term.

  2. Focus on the present moment without judgment. You can use your 5 senses to tune into what is happening right here and right now. What are 5 things you see, hear, taste, touch, and smell? Just notice them and allow yourself to be present in this moment. This will help you be mindful; a key to feeling good long-term.

  3. Self-compassion. Put your hands on your heart and offer you some self-compassion. Self-compassion is treating yourself like you would treat a good friend. When you feel bad about yourself, what would you tell a loved one in your shoes? Give yourself some grace and cut yourself some slack. This will help you build self-compassion; a key to feeling good long-term.

Tiffany Roe